I got back together with the Ex.
The first week was awesome. The second week was good. So I missed out on posting blogs because of all the fun I was having. But then his same old shit wore down my awesomeness and my mental illness kicked into high gear and we were once again on the bullshit unhealthy roller coaster of a 'relationship' that we were on for the last three years. He doesn't want to work on anything or change anything and I push too hard for the changes. We both feel like we're getting shafted.
So now that I'm not distracted with ridiculous behaviour, both mine and his, I can get back to a steady stream of awesome. My illness is always going to be with me but the people that trigger it don't have to be.
The sickest thing is that I miss him.
Stupid girl...
Welcome back. I like the line about people who trigger mental illness. My mom got better after getting divorced. Took her a while and she still struggles but the good days outweigh the bad. Her ex used her mental illness as an excuse too - no you are just imagining he is cheating. Umm then why do I have a half brother. Maybe she wasn't that crazy. Anyhoo good to see you can identify your possible triggers. I missed your blog. I check yours and karens every day. I know - little stalkerish :-)
ReplyDeletethose who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it? Smack me now, but kick him to the curb forever first. Three years is long enough.
ReplyDeleteThanks Michelle. I always feel like I'm the crazy one. It's very frustrating. And btw I like being stalked by sexy mamas :D
ReplyDelete@Karen I know I know but he already kicked me to the curb. So it's done
ReplyDeleteYa, I'm always tired of repeating myself: Contentment...failure...misery...self-hate...realization...love...contentment. Hooray. Looking back I have seen growth, but some days I'm not so sure.
ReplyDelete