Why bother calling it customer service?!

I am a proud and happy owner of an iPhone. It is my tiny second child. It is my social connection. It is my keeper of memories. It is all the things a phone should be and more. It is my friend. I took good care of this phone. I bought a rubber case for it. I never sat on it. I didn't drop it. I carried it around in my pocket as if I were carrying a baby chick. A few months ago my phone became sick.

Things started to break. It was getting slower and would sometimes freeze. But my love for my phone never wavered. The phone may have been damaged but I was determined to stick it out with my phone for as long as possible. (Sound familiar? ha ha)

Only days ago my dear friend the iPhone died. I rushed it to the Fido store to see if they could resuscitate it. After an hour it was no use, my phone was dead.

Of course it was one year passed the warranty and I still had one year left on my contract.
You'd think that if you are in the store that sells the phones that maybe you could buy one right? Not exactly. I couldn't just buy a phone because I had a year left on my contract, I had to talk to a Fido representative over the telephone first. Doesn't make much sense does it. I drive 15 minutes to another city only to speak to some git on the phone. Shit I can buy a car without having to get permission from some faceless douche over the phone. But not a cell phone.

The employees at the store, although nice and helpful with certain things and more than willing to take your money, are really of no use to me at this point. Whoever I speak to at Fido Customer Service will be in charge now and my fate will be in their hands. Well lucky, lucky me I got a condescending bitch. I was informed that I could buy a cheap phone to use until my contract ended and then purchase the phone that I actually wanted and renew my next contract. I was also informed that if  that was not what I wanted to do I would then have to pay extra to buy out my current contract (they have to get their money for the coming year, right?) in order to then renew my next contract and have the phone that I wanted. This was procedure and there was nothing that she could do for me to cut down the $800 or so that this would cost me. I was calmly outraged and questioned the woman as to why it was so difficult for me to continue conducting business with them. I essentially was begging them to take money from me for another 3 years after all. And let's face it, there is no damn way that anyone should be asking $600 for an iPhone. You know they gotta be making those things for like $20!! Being the astute person that she was, the Customer Service representative sensed my bitter disappointment and transferred me to Customer Relations. HA

This guy not only told me the same shit but suggested that I deal with another company all together. So I could spend my money on buying a phone to use for the next 9 months to a year only to throw it away in order to cheaply buy the phone that I really wanted. OR I could buy out my contract and buy the phone that I want at full price. OR I could buy out my contract and take my business elsewhere.

Pay and/or get lost. Those were my options.

I always thought that the term 'Customer Service' was coined to let the customer know that they were going to get the best service that they would ever want or need. Not just to give the customer the heads up that they were about to get fucked in the ass without so much as a token spit on it first.

Thanks Fido Customer Relations. Thanks for nothing.