This post contains cursing! Like a lot! Really a lot...
I am not perfect. I am not always kind or considerate. I am not compassionate. I have road rage. And I don't like children.
I do, however, say please. And, get this, I say thank you too. I usually follow the rules. And I know how to share.
I am one of the crustiest assholes I know. I fucking hate people. I really do. They are more unpredictable than wild animals. Sure there are some nice ones out there. (You bunch know who you are and I love ya) There are even some exceptional ones. But more often than not I seem to come across the real honest to goodness, shitty to the last drop motherfuckers that make you want to haul ass to some mountain top with a gun, never to come back and die happily alone. But I smile at strangers and let drivers in ahead of me in traffic.
So where the fuck did the damn courtesy go from the rest of the world? Is it too damn difficult to have a pleasant tone of voice? To open a fucking door? To move over a lane to let someone in on the highway safely?? I am so fucking sick and so fucking tired of rude, self-absorbed cocksuckers going about their business not giving a damn shit about the chaos they leave in their wake.
Years ago, I was sitting in my favourite pub with my friend Matt, and I'm sure I was off on a similar rant as I am now or maybe it was just conversation, who knows. But I do remember that he was jokingly making up political platforms on which I could run my campaign for Ruler of the World. The one that stuck best was 'Becky for Marshal Law'. And you can fucking well bet your last dollar that, that is how I would take care of this shitting rudeness problem we are faced with today! Just me and my private army wiping out the fuckwits left, right and centre. I foolishly wish for simpler times really, I suppose. I am well aware that the 1950's have come and gone but dammit they knew how to be fucking polite!!
I have completely had my fill of dickheads and douchebags.
I know the grown-up thing to do is to continue being courteous and let the jackwads be jackwads but just once I would like to have a perfect Hollywood scripted moment in putting those fuckfaces straight with a glorious standing ovation from the surrounding bystanders at the end. Just once...
Say YES to courtesy!! Fucker!