I'm sad and angry today because I'm stuck between a rock and an awesome place.
A relationship of two and a half years came to an abrupt end just over two weeks ago. The relationship was rocky at best. There were many hardships on both sides. And for all the love that we claimed to have for one another, it still wasn't enough to overcome the sickness that each of us were suffering from and subjecting each other to.
Three days after the end, I chose to embrace myself and take back my life and have been going strong since.
It's true that I'm angry over how it ended but it had to end. And now all I want is to move on. I'm tired of the poor communication. I'm tired of the unhealthy boundaries. The manipulation. The neglect. The overwhelming emotional strain.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all terrible. I have many warm, touching and happy memories. I will miss many things about him and the good that did exist between us. I have learned many things. And will go on to love the next man with a more open heart and a clearer head and be happier doing it.
My awesomeness is well established and the fans of my awesomeness are growing exponentially.
So here's the rock...him. He has a new girlfriend, new job, new friends, no longer an alcoholic and has a new lease on life. (All of which is very good, I'm not wanting to deny him his happiness, we all deserve it after all.) And has accomplished all of this in only two weeks. I know all of this because he made a point of calling me to tell me all about it. Oh and to tell me repeatedly that he still cares about me and wants us to be friends. Seriously??
Did I get angry? You're damn fucking right I did!! I am a wonderful person that is terrific beyond fantastic! How dare he think he can call and mess with MY new life? He chose to walk away so keep fucking walking! Yes I have issues that get in the way but in spite of those things I still rock. He couldn't be bothered with me at my worst so he doesn't deserve me at my best. (Which BTW has been in full swing since the rock removed himself from my life...) And running off the way he did and then calling to brag or seek attention from me is just more douchebaggery that I don't want or need.
Why? Do I really need to know? Do I really even care? Too much damage has been done. And I'm not going to act as a second girlfriend. If he wanted to make things work out between us, he should have kept his dick in his pants and did a little more thinking with the other head.
Say YES to saying enough is enough.