PART 1 feel free to refresh your memory. So I'm going to get right to it then, ok?
"You split yourself into two people : the adult who has nothing to do with the pain and the child who feels nothing but the pain, the adult who functions smoothly and responds appropriately and the child who has stick-out edges and wants to say no to everything, be comforted at all times, stand up and scream for attention in the middle of a quiet auditorium. The child is your witness ; the past is indelibly etched, like a cattle brand, in her body. When people get to know you, you feel as if they are not seeing the real you because you know that next week or next month or next year, one wrong move could bring the unfinished past reeling in. You are like a connect-the-dots drawing without the line that connects the dots"
"We lost something that is irretrievable : we lost the chance of going through life with the absolute knowledge that we are loveable. That was our birthright and we never received it. Now we have to work to achieve what some people were given just because they were born to different parents. Our parents were responsible for us when we were children, but no one is responsible for us when we are adults. If they weren't there the first time around, no one can even take their place. Not a lover, not a best friend, not a teacher, not a therapist, not a support group, not anyone, Only you. You are the only one who can provide yourself with unconditional love, safety, and constant attention. Only you."
"...that couples enter a relationship madly in love, carrying a suitcase filled with clothes from past relationships, adolescence, childhood. By the time they have been together for a couple of years, they have removed all the clothes from their respective suitcases, thrown them on each other, and in utter disbelief exclaimed, "You aren't the person I fell in love with. I hardly recognize you."
We can't look forward without looking back.
We can't have healing relationships in the present without being willing to heal the pair of the past. To heal, we have to believe that healing is possible. We must want to heal more than we are afraid to feel - rage, grief, sorrow. We must want to heal more than we want anything or anyone else."
"It's not the wound that determines the quality of your life, it's what you do with the wound - how you hold it, carry it, dance with it, or bury yourself under it.
No one knows where dreams are born. And what gives people the grit to follow them. Lucille Ball's father died when she was four. Her mother remarried but sent Lucille to live with relatives. They put a dog collar around her neck and tied her to a tree in the back yard to keep her from wandering. While her body was tied down, her mind wandered...Life is what happens as you live with the wounds. Life is not a matter of getting the wounds out of the way so that you can finally live. Wounds are never permanently erased. We are fragile beings, and some days we break all over again."
Say YES to having a long, hard look in the mirror.