Thursday, March 24, 2011

Things that make me F<@KING NUTS!! PART 2

***This is the blog entry that didn't get posted because I got waylaid.***

I am having tremendously crappy day so I figured why not do another installment of what annoys the crap out of me. I will either feel cleansed of all the out-of-this-world ridiculous bull that has landed in my lap or be killed silently, blissfully by the impending aneurysm. If you would like to refresh yourself with what I'm annoyed by or are just joining us and have to catch up, feel free to read THIS.
I'd like to make two notes here first...
1) My homeslice Karen at Ow, my angst has been waiting for this post (we get a kick out of each others rage and even if it doesn't translate will here, I AM very entertaining when I'm pissed!) so I hope it does not disappoint.
2) I am so angry and stressed that I am listening to a yoga CD that a friend gave me and making friends with my buddy Bacardi. Yes my day has been that crappy.

I think that people that sit on their couch all day should be immune to such things as athletes foot and jock itch. I am a fat slovenly couch potato. Why the fuck are my feet so damn athletic? I'm pretty sure they aren't sneaking out at night for a jog!

Catholic kids go to catholic school.
French kids go to french school.
Gifted kids go to gifted school.
Why can't we send the allergy kids to an allergy specific school??
And don't talk to me about the allergy kid's rights. Where's my kid's right to a damn peanut butter sandwich?!

People that suck their teeth, either to dislodge food or in disdain, can suck my dick.

CNN. Fear mongering propagandists. If Jim Jones of Jonestown fame were alive, CNN would be his media vehicle of choice. I'd like to go on a rant about how this is clearly a news station for the mental defects of the world but I'm having to take deep breaths to center myself so I'll leave it and get another drink.

When did the 'reason' go out of the world? When did people stop being 'reasonable'? When did the obscene, falsified allegations of diluted individuals carry more credibility than that of the level-headed factual based truths of the reasonable common sense man? Hmm? What kind of world has this become? When some clearly unbalanced person can say or do whatever they want without consequence? Hmm? Where is the black and white of right and wrong? When did everything become so fucking gray??!

Wait, I need a sip or three of my drink....
Ah that's better. I do love you Rum, you ol' sot.

Even with the rum, I can't take too much more so just this last one.

Is it just me or is this guy in need of a damn slap?!
I've been working my pimp hand just for you Buddy!!


  1. Oh my god. That was so wicked. I wish there had been MORE MORE MORE, but I know what it takes out of you. Suck my dick! I'll be LOL-ing over that till next weekend.

  2. I don't fret too much over CNN. I usually fall asleep watching it. CNN can't keep up with the accuracy of the internet. Honestly I don't think everything ever was black & white. People have a way of rewriting narratives to history, and summing it all up into black, and whites glossing over the tiny multicolored details just to make a point to their story.
    As we all know white at its smallest is made up of many colors. Between the light and dark of space is us - full of color.

    Very funny post. Athletes foot from being a couch potato is indeed a strange phenomenon.

  3. LOL..oh crap, your creativity never ceases to impress me!
    My adrenalin is at an all time high this week and I am having a hard time sleeping (maybe I should listen to your friends yoga cd) so I thought that I would get aquinted with your blog....soooo glad that I did.
    Damn! I thought your verbal expression was tastey. This my friend is scrumptious like that sexy beef!!!

  4. @Karen Thanks. Whenever I'm angry and annoyed and say colourful things like that, I often imagine myself as Demi Moore in "G.I. Jane" just for kicks!

  5. @Bennet Thanks. I think someone has rewritten what constitutes right and wrong and it's those 'colourful' someones that get me riled up.

  6. @Tdot Thanks. I'm glad you did too! Hope your week gets better. That CD has saved me on more than one occasion...

  7. G.I. Jane?!? I LOVE THAT FREAKING MOVIE. Yeah, I'm not ashamed to admit it. Tdot likes your sexy beef? This is getting spicy.

  8. Me too! In private, in the dark, everyone likes my sexy beef Karen. everyone...