Sunday, January 2, 2011

One too many...A Brief Drunk History

Everyone enjoys a tasty cocktail or two now and again, right? Relaxing after a hard day. Enjoying your vacation with something fruity and a tiny umbrella perhaps. A night out with friends. Well I'm no different. I do, however, have a habit of saying YES to having more than just one or two...

   *  Like the time that I nipped a bunch of booze from the family bar and stowed it in a soda bottle so I could meet up with a few girlfriends before a high school dance. If you had money you could get someone of legal age to buy you something good from the liquor store. Back in the day the popular drink for the under-aged jet setter was the 2 litre bottle of Wildberry Vodka Cooler. Do you remember that? 

Anyway I never had money so I had to steal what alcohol I could from my parents. Now I couldn't take much from any one bottle because my stepdad had all the bottles marked and I didn't want to get caught. I was lucky though because the bar had at least 20 bottles to raid. So if I carefully took a bit from each bottle, I had a 'good time' waiting for me. Now keep in mind there was all the good standards; vodka, rum etc. but there was also the junk no one wanted like creme de menthe, cherry brandy and worst of all, gin. So off I go armed with my 10 oz of muddled booze for a night that was sure to be awesome! So we met in a field or behind a convenience store and drank whatever we came with. Now I must interject here that I also have a habit of eating strange things before, during and after drinking. This particular night I ate red licorice, lots of it. I remember one thing clearly that night. At the back of the gym there was always chairs set up for those who weren't dancing. I was sitting in a circle with some friends talking. In the middle of conversation I nonchalantly turned my head, threw up a red licorice mess and turned back to join the conversation without hesitation. 

   *  I was invited to a girlfriend's house for her family Christmas eve party. I might have been 16 or 17 at the time and had somehow gotten my hands on a 26 oz bottle of Sambuca.

Yet another popular drink for the under-ager. Well I drank that bottle of Sambuca while also consuming more than one hot dog. Not only did the night end in vomiting but I also missed Christmas dinner with my own family the next day. I have never touched the stuff since. I do still love a good hot dog though.

   *  Eating Chef Boyardee and drinking tequilla shots ends in a vomit clogged public toilet and badly bruised eyelids. Yes, I sometimes throw up so violently that I bruise my eyelids. My friend K, the only witness to that incident, still gets tears in her eyes from laughing when she thinks about that night. 

Of course there were many other stories too but the most recent story of note was New Years Eve. A night in of video games and drinking with the BF. Watching whatever festivities on television and then heading to bed. Can't get myself into too much trouble, right? Three hours and half a 40 oz bottle of rum later....
     I'm in the shower. Angry. Confused. And crying. The BF had to pull me out, dry me off and put me to bed. I came to at 4am, having missed New Years completely, with swollen eyes, a headache and covered in bruises. And the best part is I did NOT vomit. Since I still can't figure out what the hell happened exactly, there's much speculation mind you, today I choose to say YES to sobriety. 


  1. Oh man...your New Year's eve was really something else. Perhaps you'd have preferred mine: in bed by 11, having a mild anxiety attack. Har har. I didn't know that about you and sambuca. I felt the acid rise in my throat just looking at that bottle of berry cooler. For me, the ultimate yucko will always be peach schnapps, thanks to throwing IT up.

  2. oh yeah--that cocktail photo looks DELICIOUS

  3. Schnapps of any kind is heinous!

  4. LOL those stories rock the casbah!

    I have a really good one about the zoo. I'll have to regale you sometime. Maybe I'll blog it!

    Still to this day, I have a serious aversion to Goldschlager due to multiple vomit-filled evenings.

    Maybe it's a good thing you don't remember New Year's Eve :)

  5. any time i've been good & drunk, i've always woken up with bruises the next day and i can never remember how i got them. i guess i'm a clumsy drunk.
    your puking at the dance story made me think of the time i was with a friend, super drunk at a bar & she was ordering another shot when she puked right onto the bar, then took her shot & slammed it as if she hadn't just puked out the last 3, along with dinner.

  6. Sam I have many more to share, unfortunately. I would love to hear yours though...

    SherilinR, drunk bruises are always a good mystery! I actually L O L'd at the story of your friend...that is totally awesome! Thanks for stopping by!!