Thursday, April 21, 2011


So I'm out with a girlfriend of mine today and we're both getting hungry and wanting something unhealthy and delicious and gross to eat. She being pregnant and me being a fatty where else could we possibly go but take a run for the border....Taco Bell!! Back in the day, after an evening of libations, my homeslice Karen and I would dine on the disgustingly beautiful garbage on a semi-regular basis. We even renamed two of the menu items. What you would call a Bean Burrito, we referred to as a 'Dirty Baby Diaper'. What you would call a Chili Cheese Burrito, we referred to as a 'Dirty Dick'. In fact those two items have always been my favourites (save the jokes, folks) and they are exactly what I ate today. My girlfriend was both amused and appalled.
On a side note, I believe that Thursday is the designated "Diminished Capcity" day at the Bell because there were many 'challenged' individuals that chose to have lunch there today. One of whom chose to have an indepth conversation with my girlfriend about the Duggar family of the '18 Kids and Counting' fame, while I was in the restroom. Apparently since she is pregnant it was an appropriate subject, of course. My girlfriend, however, was not cool with it since the man in question had a lisp and a stutter and spoke very rapidly! She couldn't understand him and kept asking him to repeat himself. Hilarious. I'm surprised she didn't hug me when I intervened.

I find it interesting that Taco Bell is desperately trying to convince the public that its food is so very much like the food that you yourself would prepare for your own family. Dear Taco Bell, we knew you were serving us shit from a bag and liked it. In other words, we don't really care. Stop ruining the most disgusting and therefore the best fucking fast food available to us. Thanks.

I do however, love most of the sayings on the sauce packets. This one is my favourite because it's dirty. If one was to think about the slang for a female body part, particularly a reproductive one, this packet should prove amusing. If you don't get it, you have much to learn about being immature.

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