So as my friend K does, when about to reveal unsettling blog-daciousness, I've posted a cute cartoon first...
220 pounds of woman.
93 diets failed.
70 pounds to lose.
3 years of sedentary living.
A lifetime of obesity...
I went out to dinner tonight with the Mom and the Kid. I was hungry. I had a fairly large meal but ended up bringing half of it home with me. Before I even left the restaurant I was uncomfortable and bloated and felt about 50 pounds heavier than I actually am. And I got angry.
I stopped smoking because of the health risks. The picture below has a healthy lung and heart on the left and a diseased lung and enlarged heart on the right.
I'm beefy, bovine, bulky, chunky, corpulent, dumpy, gargantuan, hefty, meaty, paunchy, portly, roly-poly, rotund, thickset or just plain FAT.
But why am I so fat? What got me here? Am I replacing the cigarettes with food? Am I eating my emotions? Am I in need of love and only have food to comfort me? Am I bored? Am I stress eating? Is it my depression? Am I subconsciously protecting myself from external sources of harm? Do I even care why???? In order to break the cycle I'm supposed to care why I eat...but I don't. I simply need to stop. I need to stop before I turn into this...
This is what I know. I know that a limited, healthy and balanced diet works. I know that exercise works. And I damn well know I can do them. I know I want to wear nice, form fitting clothes that don't have an 'X' on the label. I know I want to wear single digit sized pants. I know I want to wear shorts when it's hot out. I know I want to wear a bathing suit. I know I want a guy to check out my body because he thinks it is sexy and not because he thinks it is huge. I know I want to be fit and healthy. And I know that whatever I put my mind to, my ass will follow.
Today I say YES to saying no to my food addiction.